Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Me vs Jessica Alba

How many of you ladies saw Jessica Alba when she was preggers and thought "Oh my bleeping gosh! She has a fantastic pregnant body and the greatest pregnancy style!" and went on a crazy pinning spree on pregnancy fashion and fitness? Me! Me! I am totally guilty of it.

Guys, how many of you saw Jessica Alba while she was pregnant and thought "Bleep! I hope my wife is that hot when she's pregnant?" I'm sure that my husband was guilty of it.

I can't tell you how many "cute pregnancy fashion", "prenatal workouts", and "clean eating" pins I pinned. I can, however, tell you the reality of my pregnancy fashion and fitness.

My pregnancy fashion consisted mostly of this God awful pair of Coco Puff boxers that my mom bought me when I was in the 8th grade- I am completely shocked that my husband never accidentally caught those ugly things on bleeping fire!! Exercise? What was that? My bleeping ass walked to the elevator every three days, and that was plenty.  And my diet plan meant eating more chocolate than one human should consume over the course of three years.

Props to you fit and fashionable pregnant women out there... Your husbands/boyfriends/baby daddies are much luckier than mine was! And for those of you who want to eat chocolate and wear sweatpants every bleeping day- you go, girl, you're making a bleeping human!!! Take that, Jessica Alba!

My husband and me

VS

Jessica and her husband

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