Who the bleep am I?

Yesterday my baby turned 10 months old. I take these little balloon pictures of her every month, a balloon for a month, ya know, to see how much she grows. I searched through the monthly shots, a few short videos we took of her and some newborn pictures. While looking over all of these, I turned my head to see my yelling, gibberish talking, crawling baby and I got a little teary eyed. Oh, great, have I become THAT bleeping mom?

I remember celebrating one of my best friends kids' first birthday shortly after finding out I was pregnant {I won't say your name, but you know who you are :)} and my friend cried while everyone sang Happy Birthday to her baby. All I could think was, "no bleeping way will I cry at my baby's first birthday. It's just not me." Months after this, when I was very close to my delivery date, this same friend and one other warned me about the emotional wreck I would become after I had Birdie. You guys, I am going to bleeping cry when my friends and family sing her Happy Birthday! I'm not bleeping kidding you! I AM THAT BLEEPING MOM!

The truth is, from day to day I create new challenges for Birdie and encourage her to do things to advance her development. I read to her everyday, I clap and yell like a bleeping idiot when she stands on her own for longer than five seconds, or when she looks at the object I just asked her about, or makes horse sounds. I want her to grow. I want her to be smart, witty, amazing and to have a beautiful, adventurous soul. So, why the bleep am I getting sad when I look back? I guess I just want her to be little for a little longer. In just two short months my baby won't technically be a baby anymore. Bahumbug!