"Like, what do you do all day?"

Last week, after finding out I am a stay at home mom, a woman asked me, "Like, what do you do all day?" I, like, sit on my bleeping ass, watch bleeping soap operas, and eat bleeping bon-bons, you bleeping moron!

It isn't news to me that some people assume being a stay at home mom (or dad) is an easy "job". I know more than one person who thinks that my job is less important than theirs, or that my day is much easier and more lax than theirs, or that I've given up on any and all of my dreams to stay home with my kid. To these assumptions, I say you're wrong!

You got me, I watch daytime television. I am a Dr. Phil fanatic and I do watch him almost every day... but very rarely in one sitting! And I can almost guarantee you this blog will take me two sittings to post. Once Birdie finally falls asleep for the nap she just lost to, I scramble together her dirty bottles, toys and/or laundry with the hopes of finishing with at least five minutes to sit down and pick up where I left off the last time I tried watching one of my guilty pleasures.

While most of you enjoy stepping out of the office for an hour on your lunch break, I'm making a peanut butter sandwich with one hand while holding my daughter with the other {as she desperately tries getting any and everything in her reach}, then scarfing it down in two minutes tops. That is, of course, on the days I have enough time to eat anything at all before 2:00pm. I don't get to step out for a breather when things get a little bleeping crazy, or clock out at 5:00 for the next 15 hours.

I may not be managing a store or running a restaurant or teaching a class, but I'm raising a human being. If you're out in the work field and that's the life you've dreamed of, more power to you and I truly think that's fantastic, but don't knock me because my dreams don't align with yours. The life I always dreamt of for myself is the one I am living. I am watching my daughter learn and grow, and it's happening way too bleeping quickly. In the blink of an eye she has found something brand new to explore and there is no way, if I don't have to, that I want to miss any of those things.

So, like, what do I do all day? I, like, wake up and live my bleeping dream! My alarm clock {Birdie} goes off way bleeping earlier than I want it to, and I drink a cup of coffee to survive the first few hours. I make annoying voices and sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider, and I read the same six bleeping books over and over and over again. I move from the floor to the pack and play to the jumparoo back to the floor every 15 minutes and I visit the outside world at least once a day to keep my kid {and myself} from going bleeping bonkers. I clean multiple bottles, and spit up, and poopy diapers. When 7:00pm rolls around, I give my baby a bath, a massage, I read her Guess How Much I Love you, and I put her to bed. Once she is asleep, I cook dinner, do dishes and watch a show that's been recorded with my husband. Then at the end of my day, I lay down in bed, exhausted, and I thank God for making my dreams come true and pray for another day like the one that I was just lucky enough to have lived!