I am not cool anymore. I am not hip.

More times than not I feel like I am still very young, but every once in a while I realize that I am not actually as young and hip as I sometimes think that I am. On the 4th of July, we celebrated down by the beach at my aunt and uncle's house. My younger, 20 year old cousin had a good sized group of fraternity and sorority kids partying over there. My {super hip, super awesome} husband was challenged to a shotgunning contest with a few of the kids there. Much to their surprise, he bleeping won! I mean, he and I both knew all along he would win, he usually does and he was in a fraternity in college too, but these kids could not bleeping believe it. Immediately after he beat them by many seconds, one of my cousin's girlfriends screamed, "OH MY GOD!!! THE DAD WON!!!" He hadn't ever felt older, and neither had I.

I hear these terms, or read them on my younger cousins' Twitters and I get so confused. "Turnt up", "this should be us, but you playin'", "can't stop, won't stop", and "bae". What the bleep? I mean, I can find a use for all of these words or sayings, but I really doubt they mean to preteens and tweens and teens as they do to me. 

Turnt up. All I see here is turned up, which seems a lot like turned in. When I think of turning in, I think of going to bed. I've got it wrong, don't I? 

This should be us, but you playin'.  At 10:30, when my daughter is desperately fighting sleep and falling over like a bleeping drunk mini human and I see her night time shows tucking their bunnies into bed, I think "this should be us, but you playin'". A little different than the pictures my cousin is posting with girls legs wrapped around a guy with rock hard abs!  

Can't stop won't stop, this is how I feel when I am going on 15 minutes of rocking and singing to Birdie. Her blinks start lasting seven seconds, her paci starts slipping out of her mouth, she's so bleeping close to sleep... can't stop won't stop until she's out, so that I can get on with my laundry and sweeping!

And bae. What the bleep is bae? My little brother's girlfriend calls my daughter "Birdie Bae". I don't bleeping get it!? Is this a shorter, more ghetto version of babe? Someone enlighten me, because it sounds really stupid! 

I am not cool anymore. I am not hip.  I do not know the lingo.  I feel slutty when my shorts aren't at least an inch past my butt cheeks. I retweet the wrong tweets, hell, I don't even know how to tweet for goodness sakes. I am a mom... And I don't care that I am uncool.